Well, you know how people say, “my train of thought is”…Well, I don’t have a train of thought! I deal with a whole dang train station!!!
Thoughts coming and going, switching tracks, derailing, and even stalling. Oh, and believe you me, it’s a hot mess at times!!!
While getting dressed this morning, my thoughts were steered in the direction of my “short comings”.
Thoughts like:
I’m not enough…
I’m too much…
I can’t…
I should have…
Why me…
If I could just…
I smeared make-up into the crevices of my face. Then glued on eyelashes and drew on eye brows. I finally figure out where my cheek bones were and applied my blush. All while thoughts of my “short comings” kept racing through my mind.
When I finished applying my game face, I walked over to the bathroom window to look up the mountain side.
Even though it’s officially Spring here in Tennessee, the weather is very labile…Sunny one day then cold and windy the next. These poor plants are so confused!!! Once they start to trust that it is warm enough to release their foliage and blooms another cool front hits. Their tender foliage and blooms freeze and fall to the ground. Then, about the time they almost give up, here comes the sun and they try again.
When they finally emerge what a GLORIOUS sight!!!
God can teach us some pretty incredible lessons though nature. That is if we will just take time to observe our surroundings and listen to the Master’s voice.
Life has been challenging for me both physically and emotionally since July of last year. Today I observed the plants on the mountain thriving despite the adversity. And, I heard the Master’s voice whisper to me…”KEEP TRYING…Don’t give up…KEEP TRYING!!! I’ve Got You!!!”
Then, I heard…” You can do all things through Christ who strengthens You”. I have quoted Philippians 4:13 for most of my life but today…Today I internalized it because He spoke it over me!!!
I share my morning because I know I’m not the only one who struggles. Friend, when He says I can do all things through Christ, I know He will give you that same strength too!!!
As a young child my life was challenging. Home life was very tumultuous. As the oldest of four children, I felt I had to please my parents, fix everything and protect everyone. I now realize that was an impossible task but never the less, I took it on. I was very dedicated and loyal to what I thought was expected of me.
My reprieve from the chaos was school. In fact it became my safe place. I loved going to school because I loved to learn. Geography, English, and Reading were my favorite subjects. Geography because I loved coloring the maps. English challenged me to dissect sentences and communicate more effectively. Reading…Now, reading allowed me to visit and experience places in my mind. I knew I wouldn’t get to do these things in person.
While I loved all my teachers, one stood out above them all. Mrs. Billings, my 3rd grade teacher. She was kind and loving but firm. She genuinely cared about her students and made home visits to each and every one. The thing I respected most about her was her dedication to her love of God and Country. Each morning after the bell rang we would say “The Pledge of Allegiance”. Then Mrs. Billings would read us a Bible Story, and lead us in prayer. This occurred every single day without fail and I LOVED it!!! She instilled in her students a sense of pride and hope.
During that same time my grandparents on my dad’s side moved to Tennessee. I believe we visited them once during the summer. We played in the stream that ran down the mountain, took long walks, and fished. My time with them was glorious and the last time I saw them.
Now, who would have ever guessed I would be living in Tennessee! I little ironic don’t you think? Remember I mentioned we visited in the summer. Well, you can imagine my delight when we got to experience real snow. Not the slushy snow of Texas but light and fluffy snow.
But, what I didn’t realize was the snow that melts during the day turns to ice at night. This leaves a base of ice covered with snow on the roads. Typically that would not be problematic except we are from Texas. We are not used to driving in snow and ice. Oh and to add to that our driveway up the mountain is pretty steep. So, all that to say we hunker down at home. This leaves us with a lot of time to watch TV. We mostly watch the news or football as my Mom struggles to follow shows or movies.
Now, I’ve never been one to watch the news because they typically cover nothing but gloom and doom. It has been heart wrenching to watch the decline of our nation. That sense of pride and hope instilled in my by Mrs. Billings was quickly fading. In fact, I felt a sense of impending doom. Our nation was in chaos and it was as if nothing or no one would change the trajectory.
For the first time in 56 years I feel a whole new level of pride in our nation. The people have spoken! They came together to make a unified effort to take back our nation. That sense of pride and hope I felt in 3rd grade has returned.
As I watched the inauguration yesterday, I had such an overwhelming sense of excitement. Excitement for the future of our nation. Excitement for the president and First Lady. Excitement for the Senate, Excitement for the Congress. Excitement for the Cabinet Nominees. Excitement for the safety of our nation. Excitement for the growth of businesses. Excitement for the financial accountability and prosperity of the nation and the people of the USA. But, most importantly excitement for my grandchildren and great grand children.
While listening to President Trump’s inauguration, I went from that sense of impending doom to EXCITEMENT!!! And, that excitement was spreading like wildfire. Literally everyone was being contaminated right before our eyes.
Hope and Pride Are Back and…The Excitement Is Contagious!!!
Now, I am not ignorant. Not everyone shares my views, hope, pride, or excitement. They are indifferent and at times even seem irritated. Heck, I’ve had people make fun of my views, chastise me for watching so much TV. That’s ok… “Let Them”!!!
This is my country. The country I was taught to love dearly. I thank God every day for the privilege to live in the United States of America. I thank Him for those who have so bravely fought to give me the privilege to have freedom of speech.
Are you familiar with the phrase “Let Them”? I learned about the “Let Them” theory a little over a year ago. And the timing was perfect for where I was and what I was going through in life! As the oldest child, I grew up believing it was my responsibility to “fix” everything and everyone. The “Let Them” theory has definitely been freeing for me. This theory helped me realize circumstances are what they are and people are going to be who they are.
So…”LET THEM”
We all have our own unique journey. Each of us have the God given right to choose how we want to navigate that journey. I decided it was not my responsibility to try to fix the journey of others. In doing so would cause me to miss out on the journey God gifted me. If my focus is on controlling the narrative, I’m not focused on Living a Joyful Life.
Implementing the “Let Them” theory has made a huge impact on my personal peace and the peace of our home. Was it hard…ABSOLUTELY!!! Below is a Facebook post by my friend Luanne Salinas. Her post does a great job of identifying exactly what I thought before implementing the theory. It also explains how the “Let Them” theory gives closure.
Do I still love the individual(s)? YES
Do I still pray for the individual(s)? YES
But,From A Distance!
Here’s Louanne’s Post:
“Are you familiar with the “Let Them” theory? I’ll tell you friends the more I grow the more I am okay with accepting the “Let Them” in my own life and relationships.
This is something that took me a very long time to learn. I used to tolerate a lot because I didn’t want to lose people. But I learned the hard way if they were really my people they would never treat me like that. Don’t make the mistake of being so understanding and forgiving that you overlook the fact that you’re being repeatedly disrespected.
Let them be upset.
Let them judge you.
Let them misunderstand you.
Let them gossip about you,
Let them ignore you.
Let them be “right.”
Let them doubt you.
Let them not like you.
Let them not speak to you.
Let them run your name in the ground.
Let them make you out to be the villain.
Whatever it is that people want to say about you, let them!
Kindly step aside and LET THEM.
The hard truth is they know how much they are hurting you. And they just simply don’t care. They did it knowing it could cause them to lose you. And they did it anyway. People that love you care about how they make you feel. The end. Let them go.
There will be people that would rather lose you than be honest about what they’ve done to you. Let them go.
The lack of respect was the closure. The lack of apology was the closure. The lack of care was the closure. The lack of acountability was the closure. The lack of honestly was the closure. Let them go.
Make the decision to no longer sit at tables where you might be the topic when you get up. Let them go.
You can still be kind. You can even still love them deeply. But do it from the distance they created in their words and actions. Access to you is a privilege they have proven they can’t be trusted with. Let them go.
You don’t need to tell your side of the story. God already knows. Let God fight the battle for you. Let them go.
It’s taken me a long time to get here. Sleepless nights, countless tears, managing a range of emotions filled with anger, disappointment, confusion and deep hurt. Lots of self reflection, self preservation, deep prayer and seeking wisdom from those much wiser than me.
If you are struggling with this please know you are not alone. We will never understand why hurt people hurt people. But we can do the hard work to grow ourselves. Because healed people do in fact heal people.
Don’t you dare let them steal your joy.
Don’t you dare let them steal your light.
Don’t you dare let them steal your peace.
You are in control of that.
Hold tight to what you can control and release your grip on what you can’t control.
Let them go.”
Louanne, thank you for your post. I pray that by sharing it, someone will be moved to just
You know, it’s so easy to say, “I want to be joyful” but what exactly does that mean?
I remember speaking on the topic of “Joy” at a women’s retreat. One of the sessions was titled “Joy in the Journey”. Now, anyone who knows me is aware it’s not the journey that does it for me…
It’s THE RESULTS!!!
I am definitely a results oriented person. I find great pleasure in immediate gratification. The journey is equivalent to waiting and waiting is not one of my strong suits! With that said, I was given the word “Joyful” for 2025. I definitely better figure this out before the year is up…My days are fleeting! Heck 2024 came and went before I realized it!
So with that said, I guess a good place to start is with the definition of Joyful.
JOYFUL:experiencing pleasure, satisfaction, or delight
Hmmm…based on that definition, I would say I’m pretty joyful. Well, most of the time. Uh, well, I guess it would depend on the circumstances. Heck, who knows…some days it’s like a roller coaster. One minute I’m up and experiencing pleasure, feel satisfied or am delighted. the next, I’m serious, hyper focused, or distracted. I’m pretty sure my word for 2025 should have been “Complex”!!! Oh wait, where’s the growth in that…I’m already “Complex”. I’m pretty sure God wants me to focus on being JOYFUL and that means…I GOT WORK TO DO!!!
So, Welcome to My Journey to Discovering Joyful Living!
Now, hear me…I am not saying I am not joyful. I do have episodes of joyfulness just not consistently. I’m also not saying you don’t have a joyful life but what I am saying is… we all go through seasons. So, if you are going though a dry season please join me on my journey.
Come on…Let’s get started!
Now this is where I get stuck! Only on the 1st paragraph of the “journey” and I’ve already hit a major pothole. It’s at this point I could go in so many different directions!!!
So, usually when I’m looking for answers I go to Google and search for scriptures. Yep, while I take into account what other people say, I want to know what God’s word says. So, like a good soldier I typed in “Scriptures on Joyful”. Several verses came up. Many had the word joy but one particular scripture had the word “Joyful” and really resonated with me. It’s probably because I was recently diagnosed with Spondylosis.
Proverbs 17:22 “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” .
Wow…Spondylosis is a chronic condition that refers to the gradual wearing down of the spine’s cartilage and bones. A supple and strong bone is much more difficult to wear down or break. Yep, over the course of my life, my spirit has been crushed.
I know I’m not the only one! Gosh look at those effected by Hurricane Helene or the wildfires in California. Bless their hearts, those people literally lost everything!!! So, please hear me, in no way am I making light of their pain and suffering. But, we too are on a journey and our pain and heaviness is very real as well. Things like…
Loss of a child, spouse, parent, grandparent, friend: Gosh, I’ve experienced the loss of each and the pain never leaves. I will say, that over time, the wound is no longer as fresh. None the less, the loss does leave scars for life.
Catastrophic losses like storms, earthquakes, hurricanes, floods and fires: I can say, I’ve had my fair share of hurricanes and flooding. I’ve been effected by 2 floods in my life. Both were hard but the flood when I was 12 years old was the worst. I lost my sense of security and safe place. It was the structure not people that made me feel secure growing up. I guess that’s why home is so important to me even today.
Loss of relationships: It’s painful loosing a relationship with a loved one or a friend. Sometimes the loss isn’t always a falling out but instead a drifting away. Either way, there is a loss or disconnect and it can weigh you down. Now, I would like to say that sometimes this isn’t a bad thing. It just may be God’s protection on your life or emotional well-being.
Hurt Feelings: Oh my, I could go on forever on this one!!! I am here to tell you, my feelings have been hurt more times than I can count. For me the hurt is typically caused by setting my expectations too high. Or, because I make it all about me. Or, I just don’t consider the source and where they’ve been or what they’ve been through. And, then sometimes…People are just mean!!! Emotions are a bugger!!!
This list could go on for days but I think I’m unstuck. I finally know the direction I need to go!
I need to remember those things that bring me pleasure, what gives me satisfaction and who or what delights me. Then for 2025, I need to expand my list!!!
So, here’s my current list of things which lend to my joyful life:
Excursions with Richard
Taking a drive
Having lunch
Running errands
Stopping in at a winery
Time with Family
Time Alone with God
Relaxing at Home
Baking
Working in our Yard
Working in the Garden
Sitting out by the fire pit
Coffee on the porches
Walks on the property
Driving around the property in the side by side
Painting furniture and decor
Floral design
Writing
Yes, I know that is a pretty long list. Just so you know, I could go on and on but for the sake of time…I’ll stop!
I have been so incredibly blessed by reflecting on this list. In fact, my mind was completely redirected from those things that I’ve been though (both shared and not shared).
I Think I’m Having an “Ah Ha” Moment!!!
By changing my focus from trials to triumphs, my tests to testimonies, and suffering to healing it will yield a joyful life
Now for the hard part… I must remember to say “Ah Ha!!!” during my meltdown. I should also try to do this in a crisis or when dealing with that person who has hurt me.
My prayer for you is God will restore you to a joyful state and continue to pour out His Blessings on Your Life ❤
How can this be…January 1st has come and gone yet God did not give me my “Word for the Year”. This has never happened to me before!!! In the past, I knew what my word would be long before New Years Day. My brain went into overload. I listened with laser focus to every word I heard on TV, podcasts, and YouTube. I also read blogs and scripture. Yet, not a word. I even laid in bed at night wide awake brain storming and praying to find my “Word”.
Now, the desperate pursuit of the word had become serious almost to the point of being unpleasant. The pursuit had become serious and I had become unpleasant. In fact, the word search had sucked the joy right out of me! As I thought about feeling gloomy and down, I realized I have been pretty serious for a while.
Well, Duh…while it was a great year 2024 was a HARD year! My post 2024 Year in Review: A Journey of Gratitude definitely served as a reminder. It highlighted all I did and went through last year. No wonder I didn’t feel joyful…
JOYFUL
That’s it…My Word for the 2025
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not sad, depressed, or hopeless but just gloomy. Now, I’m sure that has to do with the fact I’m recovering from surgery. Just four months ago I had an Anterior posterior fusion L5-S1 with Graft using rods and screws using robotics. I also had a cyst removed. The surgeon said “if your cyst were a fish we would’ve had to mount it…it was that big”. So, there’s that but I know it to be more than just that!
All my life I have been somewhat serious. Raised by overachiever parents, I’ve always had both spoken and unspoken expectations placed on me. After all, I was the oldest child and they depended on me for a lot. Everything was serious! And for those times I did try to relax and let loose, I did not enjoy myself. It was foreign to me. That is until about 2005. We were empty-nesters and were more spontaneous. We RV’d, rode the motorcycle, and went on short excursions as our schedules allowed. I felt like for the 1st time in my life the weight of the world had fallen off my shoulders.
Then, I went into long term care. Not as a bedside nurse but as a Director of Nurses. There they were again…Spoken and Unspoken Expectations. State surveyors, Chief Nurse Officer, Regional Vice President, Administrator, and Regional Nurse, all piling their expectations on me. Yes, I know that goes with the job but…It was also a trigger for me. All the expectations were overwhelming and I had to be serious and laser focused. Once again, I was no longer joyful.
Then in June of 2022 I retired to care for my mother full time. She was total care requiring a lift for transfers and wheelchair bound. She also had postoperative complications after surgery for a hip fracture. So, now the expectations were based on my degree and professional experience. I was now my mother’s nurse. Oh but wait, things got a little muddled for me when childhood expectations are mingled with care expectations. Then stir in family dysfunction and everyone’s different personalities…What a MESS!!!
While I still care for my Mom, it has become so much easier. Since we moved from Texas, we have more of a routine. There’s less external chaos and peace has been restored to our home. Most importantly Mom is at peace and happy. While things have lighted significantly, I want to strive to be more joyful.
Oh My…That’s Quite a Laundry List For Me to Work On!!!
Will it be hard…Yes!
Will it be worth it…ABSOLUTELY
My word for 2024 was Gratitude and it was so incredibly easy to live in a state of gratitude. 2025 though, will definitely require some work for me but…I am determined to be JOYFUL again no matter what!!!
So, do you have a word for 2025? If yes, please do share!!!
This morning as I was waiting for my cup of coffee to brew, I began my morning quiet time with an “Attitude of Gratitude”. As I looked around our kitchen, I thought to my self “I really love that arrangement” or “That picture belongs right there” and then I became flooded with the memories of where those items originated or who had given them to me. Then I began to thank God for the provisions He has given me and the people He has placed in my life.
Then, I allowed my mind to broaden and think of many of the people He placed in my life over the years. While most were amazing, not all were easy or a pleasure. I might add, some of those individuals were exhausting…They would suck the life right out of me with their:
Low Self-esteem
Under Developed Communication Skills
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Inadequate Support System
Difficulty Coping
Oh Wait…I Just Described Myself!!!
Yep, I have personally experienced every one of those things listed above at some point in my life. Oh, and believe you me…about the time I think I have things under wraps a wave hits and I find myself gasping for air.
Let me ask you something, Do you think this comes as surprise to God? Absolutely not!!! and the wall decor in my kitchen serves as my daily reminder!
He knows me…He really knows ME!!! Jesus gets me, understands me, tolerates me, and most of all He celebrates me!!!
Do I break His heart? Yes, I do on a daily basis!
Do I ask for His forgiveness? Yes, I do on a daily basis!
Does He beat me over the head with shame and condemnation? Absolutely not! In fact the scripture that assures me of this is Romans 8:1
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus“
So, why does God place people in my path that remind me of my failures, deficits, past, lack of support, and my inability to cope or resolve my own problems?
To remind me:
I am Broken
I need to support and lift others up
I need to work to do better every day
I need to continue to work on my communication skills
I need to develop empathy
And sometimes…He is teaching me I need to set boundaries.
Control Freaks…Do you know one or perhaps you are one!
“Now, it is only natural to want be in control of your own life, but when you feel you have to have control of everyone else’s life, you have a problem. These are the key aspects of a Control Freak. They have a driving need to create your agenda, they insist on controlling all their interactions with you, basically, they have to run the show and call they shot – OR ELSE.”~ Socyberty
“Are You a Control Freak?” is an incredible article on what makes a Control Freak tick and how to deal with them..I highly recommend this read!
We all know a Control Freak…It is the person who must know every aspect of what you are doing and proceeds to provide feedback or even tell you how to do it…They have no respect for boundaries and need to know all the details.The Control Freak will pump you for information by asking lots of questions…Because knowledge is power!
Control Freaks can be a family member, friend, boss, co-worker, teacher, fellow Christian or pastor…. Yes, you read correctly…pastor!
If you struggle with a Control Freak…”Sometimes, in order to keep your self-worth, and not be humiliated or bulldozed by their controlling ways, the best thing you can do is to walk out, turn that phone off, or just generally take yourself out of that situation. As easy as it may seem to be to just get angry back at them, it really does no good, and your best frame of mind is to remind yourself that they are stuck in that world of self-pity, and you are not. Even if they try to goad you by saying you are to chick to stay and fight, walk away. You will have one in essence anyways.” ~Socyberty
If you struggle with being a Control Freak…this scripture will help!
Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.1 Thessalonians 4:11-12
Landau Eugene Murphy Jr takes the stage and appears to be the least likely person to audition much less win America’s Got Talent.
As you will see in the video, none of the judges were expecting to hear such a spectacular audition. In-fact their body language and reaction to Landau’s appearance indicates they have absolutely no confidence in his ability. In-fact, the judges had judged him before he had even opened his mouth.
As I watched this episode of America’s Got Talent and then watched again in the video, I couldn’t help but wonder…How would we respond if Landau had walked through the doors of our church and sat down next to us? Oh I know, we all would like to believe we would welcome him with open arms. But, would we really?
As much as Christians hate to admit it we are such a judgmental group of people. I’m sure you are thinking… “Not Me!” Are you sure about that? Below are some scenarios, as you read them being totally honest with yourself…What would be your gut reaction to this person who decides to sit next to you in church?
A 15-year-old female wearing Daisy Dukes
A derelict who reeks of alcohol
An elderly man who’s clothing smells of old urine
A teenage boy wearing a baseball cap
A group of young men wearing black trench coats
A woman in her 40’s wearing a t-shirt and no bra
A young mother with a screaming baby
A teenager eating a hot dog and drinking a coke
Hmmm…did you get up and move from your pew, ignore them, or embrace them?
I would venture to say if we are totally honest with ourselves if we did embrace them, we did not embrace them with our heart but in gesture only.
My friend, we cannot continue to judge a book by its cover. We must open up the hard external cover of broken lives and begin to read the pages chalked full of experiences. We must begin to see the internal person; the one screaming to come out.
We are so bound by tradition and religion we lose track of who we are and our calling. We are called to love the “Unlovely” and the “Rule Breakers”.
“Church is not a household for saints. It is a hospital for sinners.” ~Robin Butler
“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37
I remember in our early years of marriage Richard and I would sit for hours and dream of the future. Believe it or not…We still do!!! I love sitting out on the swing while having coffee and listening to him as shares his thoughts and dreams. Oh, and I so love the fact he is interested in mine!
When sharing my dreams with others, it is such a reality check to be reminded of my age… The buzz words are “at your age”…I am not quite ready to be an “old woman” and at times can be a sensitive subject for me; I sooo miss my youth!!!
I love this quote by James Dean:”Dream as if you’ll live forever… live as if you’ll die today.” I have always adopted this mindset. We only get one chance in life remembering… Dreams can often become challenging, but challenges are what we live for. ~ Travis White
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born. ~ Dale E. Turner. So, as Justin Bieber would say…”If you don’t dream big, there’s no use of dreaming. If you don’t have faith, there’s nothing worth believing.”
Having a dream is all the more realistic when I dare to dream with the person I love the most in this world. It is even more special when we both have individual dreams but they are amplified because they complement each other and are intertwined. For me to have a dream and my husband’s dream is the act of creating what I dream for…That is God in His awesomeness further amplifying how we compliment or complete each other….A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. ~John Lennon
Do you have a dream you are afraid to share with others? Don’t be!
Speak up…Share your dream and conclude with…
I have spread my dreams beneath your feet. Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. ~W.B. Yeats
A Love Lee Place 