Tag Archive | Help

Do You Feel Lonely or Forgotten

Lonely 3Most of My Entire Married Life, I Have Been…ALONE and At Times Felt LONELY

Being Alone is not an easy place to be for many. In-fact the divorce rate jumps from an average of 11% to 57% among shift workers because the shift workers spouses are so lonely.

As the spouse of a shift worker, I often find myself “alone”. Though I have a fabulous marriage and adore Richard with every fiber of my being and I know he adores me…I am often alone and at times find myself lonely (There is a difference in being alone and being lonely). In our earlier years it was less obvious because we had children and they filled my void. As I have gotten older and our children have left the nest…I have filled my lonely days with Work, Projects, Facebook, Blogging, and of course…Retail Therapy.

However, as I have gotten older, I have also come to realize there is something far worse than being lonely…

 Being Forgotten!

In my current role as Director of Nursing in a Skilled Nursing Facility I have become keenly aware that being forgotten is far worse than being lonely. Loneliness can be remedied through touch, conversation, laughter, and activities. There is however only one remedy for Forgotten and it is being Remembered by those the love!!!

Forgotten Can be a Subtle Transition or Blatant and Purposeful

Forgotten can gradually evolve when your children learn a new level of independence…When they learn to toilet alone, dress themselves, cut up their own meat, cook their own meals, drive themselves, leave home, get married, have children and develop adult friendships and hobbies. While this is a natural and essential process of maturing…One feels Forgotten!

Forgotten can occur when a friend moves away or you able to witness them develop and nurture new friendships via social media and all the while calls and contacts are farther and fewer between…One Feels Forgotten!

Forgotten can also occur when families grow apart or together without you…One Feels Forgotten!

Here are Some ways I have found to cope with being Lonely or Forgotten…

  1. Be realistic: Everyone gets left out
  2. Look honestly at the situation: Seek like-minded people
  3. Make a choice to be better not bitter: Don’t wallow in self-pity
  4. Smile: Makes people wonder what you’re up to
  5. Try not to read too much into being left out: Look for the simplest explanation first
  6. Find something to do: This will distract you
  7. Talk to your spouse or a trusted friend about your feelings: It helps to have someone to keep you grounded
  8. Listen openly to their responses: Feedback provides an opportunity for growth
  9. Be proactive: Take the initiative to reach out to those who want to be a part of your life
  10. Heed the message: Remove yourself from those who drag you down and make you feel alone and forgotten

 monarch-butterfly

Always Remember…

A Season of Loneliness and Isolation is When the Caterpillar Gets its Wings

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My 911 Call

Do you ever feel overwhelmed, lost, uncertain about the direction you life is going?
Do you have bills that need to be paid, a heavy workload, or just seem bombarded by life?
In other words…Do you feel like you life and everything in it is falling apart?

It could be time for 911…Psalms 91:1

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

Dwell:
     To reside 
     To live as a permanent resident
Abide:
     To remain in a place
     To continue to be sure or firm; endure.

Nothing can harm you Beneath His Sheltering Wing!!!

911…Give Him A Call

Love Lee ♥

Ask for Help Before You Melt

In life we teach our children life skills with hopes they grow up as law-abiding, moral, responsible and self-sufficient adults. However, what we often fail to teach them or what we may have failed to learn ourselves is…sometimes we need help! In this perfectionist model the need for assistance is often translated as failure.

Because we learn this as we grow-up often it becomes a blow to our egos when we realize we can’t do it alone or even we are not the right person to do it at all…As an ICU nurse I learned  it takes teamwork and it is ok to ask for help. Without help we can become fragile and vulnerable.

Snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile things, but just look at what they can do when they stick together~Unknown

I love this saying!!!

Snowflakes, while fragile they are also unique and it is the intricate shapes that make them unique.  As the single snowflake begins to melt all the snow looses its uniqueness it also looses its magnitude. It is no longer remains beautiful fluffy white snow but instead becomes water or ice.

To summarize…

  • We are fragile beings
  • We are unique beings
  • When we stick together with other fragile and unique beings we can accomplish so much more
  • When we keep our uniqueness we are easily identified
  • When our uniqueness dissolves we become just like everyone else and are not as effective to the team

Most importantly…

Ask for Help Before You Melt…

Love Lee ♥

 

 

 

 

It’s Contagious…Stop The Spread!!!

Have you ever noticed how someone can walk into the room and the entire atmosphere can change?
I remember one instance when this occurred…Huge Lesson Learned!!!
 
I was working in an ICU unit and every bed held a patient. Although we were full, the day was pleasant and was without much drama or crisis. The phone rang and I was asked to help with a special procedure that was being performed in a different department. So, because everything was “calm” and “under control”, I told my co-worker I was going to help with a procedure and I would be right back. I left the unit and assisted with the procedure which took all of 15 minutes.
 
When I returned to the ICU what I found was UNBELIEVABLE!!! Total chaos had taken over the ICU…Call bells going off, family members at the nurses station, and the noise level was off the chart. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw my co-worker running around frantically in a panic.
 
Suddenly I realized what happened…Because I was being pulled away from the unit, my co-worker went into a complete panic and her panic had permeated the entire ICU unit…
 
I walked over to her. Told her to take a deep breath, grab a Coke and leave the unit for a break. Once she left the ICU, I took a deep breath and said a very brief prayer and made my way through the unit room by room…Tucking patients in speaking words of peace and calm over the patients with a pleasant and assuring smile. Within about 10 minutes a hush fell over the place.
 
My co-worker returned and was totally amazed at the transformation which had taken place in her absence. She asked me what had happened. I took the opportunity show her how her panic had permeated the entire ICU in the 15 minutes I was gone.  I also was able to teach her how to reign in her emotions, take control of situations, and promote peace over her patients and thus the entire ICU.
 
There have been other times I have witnessed this occur…sitting in meetings where everyone is smiling, making contributions to solutions to issues, and interacting in a healthy and professional manner. Then, an individual having a rough day can walk into the room and squelch all team productivity and change the entire tone of the meeting. 
 
Have you noticed this in your home. A family member comes in after a hard, emotional, or trying day? They can walk in the door and the entire atmosphere changes. What do you do? 
  • Recognize what is going on
  • Hold on to your peace and do you allow your peace to be disturbed or your attitude to take a downward trend
  • Pray over your home and ask God’s protection over your home
  • Pray for the person struggling

Emotions are contagious, negativity, anxiety, and discord in your home can be prevented with prayer, education, and persistence. Finally…

DO NOT EXPOSE YOURSELF TO THE CONTAGIOUS NEGATIVE EMOTIONS OF OTHERS

Think about it…why do you want to surround yourself with negativity? IT IS CONTAGIOUS!!! Evaluate the people you choose to surround yourself with. Choose your friends wisely or encourage them to change their attitude.

I remember when a nurse in the ER came in one day and I told her “Good Morning”. Her response was “What’s so good about it?”. I took the opportunity to tell her I had made the decision to remove negative people from my life. I also said, “You know, I like you and really want to be your friend so you are going to have to be a more positive person if you want to be my friend”. Suddenly, the decision was hers. From that day forward, she has never said another negative phrase or word to me.

Let your peace radiate into the world. Then the world becomes a more peaceful place one person at a time.

TAKE CONTROL AND PROTECT YOURSELF!!!

 
Love Lee ♥