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Aint That the Truth!

In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bag because plastic  bags weren’t good for the environment.
 The woman apologized to him and explained, “We didn’t
 have the green thing back in my day.”
  
 The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. The former
 generation did not care enough to save our environment.”
 
 He was right, that generation didn’t have the green thing
 in its day.
 
 Back then, they returned their milk bottles, soda bottles
 and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to  the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
 
 But they didn’t have the green thing back in that
 customer’s day.
 
 In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn’t
 have an escalator in every store and office building.  They walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into  a 300-horsepower machine every time they had to go two blocks.
 
 But she was right. They didn’t have the green thing in
 her day.
 
 Back then, they washed the baby’s diapers because they
 didn’t have the throw-away kind. They dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up  220 volts – wind and solar power really did dry the clothes.  Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or  sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
 
 But that old lady is right, they didn’t have the green
 thing back in her day.
 
 Back then, they had one TV, or radio, in the house – not
 a TV in every room.  And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief, not a screen the size of the  state of Montana. In the kitchen,  they blended and stirred  by hand because they didn’t have electric machines to do
 everything for you.   When they packaged a fragile item  to send in the mail, they used a wadded up old newspaper  to cushion it, not styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.
 
 Back then, they didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline  just to cut the lawn. They used a push mower that ran on  human power.  They exercised by working so they didn’t  need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that  operate on electricity.
 
 But she’s right, they didn’t have the green thing back then.
 
 They drank from a fountain when they were thirsty, instead
 of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time they had a drink  of water. They refilled their writing pens with ink, instead of  buying a new pen, and they replaced the razor blades in  a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just  because the blade got dull.
 
 But they didn’t have the green thing back then.
 
 Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids  rode their bikes to school, or walked,  instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. They had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances.  And they didn’t need a
 computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find  the nearest pizza joint.
 
 But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful  the old folks were just because they didn’t have the green  thing back then?

Ain’t That The Truth!

Love Lee ♥

RECALL NOTICE:

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units; code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed “Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality,” or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed. Some of the symptoms include:
  1. Loss of direction
  2. Foul vocal emissions
  3. Amnesia of origin
  4. Lack of peace and joy
  5. Selfish or violent behavior
  6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
  7. Fearfulness
  8. Idolatry
  9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required. The number to call for repair in all areas is:

P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected, please upload your burden of S.I.N. through the REPENTANCE procedure.

Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:

  1. Love
  2. Joy
  3. Peace
  4. Patience
  5. Kindness
  6. Goodness
  7. Faithfulness
  8. Gentleness
  9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter his Kingdom so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

Thank you for your attention!

GOD

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and they may contact the Father any time by ‘Knee Mail’!

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Love Lee ♥

Thanks to my dear friend Kimberly for posting this on Facebook…

Life a Simple Plan

On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking.. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”

So God agreed . . .

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”

The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”

And God agreed . . .

On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”

The cow said, “That’s a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?”

And God agreed again . . .

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”

But the human said, “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”

“Okay,” said God. “You asked for it.”

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I’m doing it as a public service.

Love Lee ♥

Sick Leave

I urgently needed a few days off work, 
But I knew the boss would not allow me to take  leave. I thought that maybe if I acted ‘CRAZY’ then he would tell me to take a few days off.   

So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who’s blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, So that the Boss would think I was ‘CRAZY’ And give me a few days off.   

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office And asked ‘What are you doing?’ I told him I was a light bulb.   

He said, ‘You are clearly stressed out. 
Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.’ 
I jumped down and walked out of the office.   

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, 
The Boss asked her 
..And where do you think you’re going?’  
(You’re gonna love this…..)    

 
   

  

  

She said,   

   

‘I’m going home too, I can’t work in the dark!  

Love Lee ♥  

From my Dear Friend Debbie Egg