Well, you know how people say, “my train of thought is”…Well, I don’t have a train of thought! I deal with a whole dang train station!!!
Thoughts coming and going, switching tracks, derailing, and even stalling. Oh, and believe you me, it’s a hot mess at times!!!
While getting dressed this morning, my thoughts were steered in the direction of my “short comings”.
Thoughts like:
I’m not enough…
I’m too much…
I can’t…
I should have…
Why me…
If I could just…
I smeared make-up into the crevices of my face. Then glued on eyelashes and drew on eye brows. I finally figure out where my cheek bones were and applied my blush. All while thoughts of my “short comings” kept racing through my mind.
When I finished applying my game face, I walked over to the bathroom window to look up the mountain side.
Even though it’s officially Spring here in Tennessee, the weather is very labile…Sunny one day then cold and windy the next. These poor plants are so confused!!! Once they start to trust that it is warm enough to release their foliage and blooms another cool front hits. Their tender foliage and blooms freeze and fall to the ground. Then, about the time they almost give up, here comes the sun and they try again.
When they finally emerge what a GLORIOUS sight!!!
God can teach us some pretty incredible lessons though nature. That is if we will just take time to observe our surroundings and listen to the Master’s voice.
Life has been challenging for me both physically and emotionally since July of last year. Today I observed the plants on the mountain thriving despite the adversity. And, I heard the Master’s voice whisper to me…”KEEP TRYING…Don’t give up…KEEP TRYING!!! I’ve Got You!!!”
Then, I heard…” You can do all things through Christ who strengthens You”. I have quoted Philippians 4:13 for most of my life but today…Today I internalized it because He spoke it over me!!!
I share my morning because I know I’m not the only one who struggles. Friend, when He says I can do all things through Christ, I know He will give you that same strength too!!!
As a young child my life was challenging. Home life was very tumultuous. As the oldest of four children, I felt I had to please my parents, fix everything and protect everyone. I now realize that was an impossible task but never the less, I took it on. I was very dedicated and loyal to what I thought was expected of me.
My reprieve from the chaos was school. In fact it became my safe place. I loved going to school because I loved to learn. Geography, English, and Reading were my favorite subjects. Geography because I loved coloring the maps. English challenged me to dissect sentences and communicate more effectively. Reading…Now, reading allowed me to visit and experience places in my mind. I knew I wouldn’t get to do these things in person.
While I loved all my teachers, one stood out above them all. Mrs. Billings, my 3rd grade teacher. She was kind and loving but firm. She genuinely cared about her students and made home visits to each and every one. The thing I respected most about her was her dedication to her love of God and Country. Each morning after the bell rang we would say “The Pledge of Allegiance”. Then Mrs. Billings would read us a Bible Story, and lead us in prayer. This occurred every single day without fail and I LOVED it!!! She instilled in her students a sense of pride and hope.
During that same time my grandparents on my dad’s side moved to Tennessee. I believe we visited them once during the summer. We played in the stream that ran down the mountain, took long walks, and fished. My time with them was glorious and the last time I saw them.
Now, who would have ever guessed I would be living in Tennessee! I little ironic don’t you think? Remember I mentioned we visited in the summer. Well, you can imagine my delight when we got to experience real snow. Not the slushy snow of Texas but light and fluffy snow.
But, what I didn’t realize was the snow that melts during the day turns to ice at night. This leaves a base of ice covered with snow on the roads. Typically that would not be problematic except we are from Texas. We are not used to driving in snow and ice. Oh and to add to that our driveway up the mountain is pretty steep. So, all that to say we hunker down at home. This leaves us with a lot of time to watch TV. We mostly watch the news or football as my Mom struggles to follow shows or movies.
Now, I’ve never been one to watch the news because they typically cover nothing but gloom and doom. It has been heart wrenching to watch the decline of our nation. That sense of pride and hope instilled in my by Mrs. Billings was quickly fading. In fact, I felt a sense of impending doom. Our nation was in chaos and it was as if nothing or no one would change the trajectory.
For the first time in 56 years I feel a whole new level of pride in our nation. The people have spoken! They came together to make a unified effort to take back our nation. That sense of pride and hope I felt in 3rd grade has returned.
As I watched the inauguration yesterday, I had such an overwhelming sense of excitement. Excitement for the future of our nation. Excitement for the president and First Lady. Excitement for the Senate, Excitement for the Congress. Excitement for the Cabinet Nominees. Excitement for the safety of our nation. Excitement for the growth of businesses. Excitement for the financial accountability and prosperity of the nation and the people of the USA. But, most importantly excitement for my grandchildren and great grand children.
While listening to President Trump’s inauguration, I went from that sense of impending doom to EXCITEMENT!!! And, that excitement was spreading like wildfire. Literally everyone was being contaminated right before our eyes.
Hope and Pride Are Back and…The Excitement Is Contagious!!!
Now, I am not ignorant. Not everyone shares my views, hope, pride, or excitement. They are indifferent and at times even seem irritated. Heck, I’ve had people make fun of my views, chastise me for watching so much TV. That’s ok… “Let Them”!!!
This is my country. The country I was taught to love dearly. I thank God every day for the privilege to live in the United States of America. I thank Him for those who have so bravely fought to give me the privilege to have freedom of speech.
Each year I wait patiently for God to give me a “Word For The Year”. I usually know what the word is by January 1st but this year that didn’t happen. Perhaps it was because I have been a little distracted during the year 2023.
2023 WAS A WHIRLWIND
2023 was one crazy hard year for me…I am chronicling it primarily for my benefit. I never want to forget what God carried us through nor do I want to ever fail to give Him the Glory for staying right by our side while going through it. Not all I went through is share worthy but I will just reiterate 2023 was one of the most difficult years of my life!!!
On January 1, 2023 our daughter and son-in-law left Texas and moved to Tennessee. Talk about hard…The longest I have ever been separated from Brandi were the times she would go on vacation and I knew she would return home and we would pick up where we left off. This experience was totally different; it was permanent!!! Although we knew she would come to visit and we would go there, it was an emotional rollercoaster for me. No more pop-in visits, no phone calls asking me to run errands, and it would no longer be a 15 minute drive to her house.
In February Brandi and Robi proposed the idea of us joining them in Tennessee. After a lot of discussion and planning, Robi chose a beautiful spot on the side of the mountain and Brandi designed a house for us.
In March we went on a family cruise. It was our 1st cruise and I was a nervous wreck on many levels…”What do I wear, how will I manage being away from mom that long, and most importantly; how the heck am I going to deal with not being able to see land?”!!! Well, let me just say, it was an AMAZING trip!!! All my anxieties left once I was surrounded by my kids, grandkids, and great grandkids. In addition, Richard and I were able to relax and enjoy some much needed alone time which is so important to us and our relationship.
Upon our return from the cruise we knew we had just under 9 months before we would move. Richard’s last day of work would be December 1, 2023 which was a Friday and we scheduled 2 full size Penske trucks and a team of movers for December 4th the following Monday. Then it was on to the daunting task of trying to determine what to take with us and what to get rid of. In addition to our household items, I had a shed full of projects I was actively working on or had completed to sell and oh my gosh was that hard!!! It wasn’t cleaning out the shed that was difficult but having to do it in temperatures that were in the triple digits. Now that almost killed me!!!
Meanwhile, while trying to downsize and pack, I was also caring for my mother, taking her to medical appointments, consolidating 2 households, and coordinating the sell of her home. Let me just say, none of which were easy!!! My heart was heavy for my Mom, she had lost her husband, her mobility, her independence, and now she was having to deal with the rollercoaster of emotions associated with settling her estate. Let me take this opportunity to advise (free of charge of course) those couples with blended families to run not walk to an attorney’s office and draw up a will. This is to protect the surviving spouse both financially and emotionally. Very long story short, it took over a year working with a lawyer and a lot of prayer to get Mom’s estate settled.
Now, selling our home was nowhere near as complicated!!! On a Sunday afternoon early August, Richard purchased a “For Sale By Owner” sign and stuck it in the front yard. On Monday morning he got a call and set up an appointment for a couple to come by and look at the house. When they arrived on Monday we were very transparent and let them know we would not be moving until December. By Thursday of that same week we had an executed contract, they agreed to allow us to remain in the house until December, and closed on August 25th. People…THAT WAS GOD!!!
Labor Day week we flew to Tennessee and witness first hand some of the construction on our house. We were able to see color choices, cabinetry, tile, granite, and flooring. We were blown away by all the work Brandi had done!!! She really could have her own show on HGTV…She is just that good at home design!
On October 13th we left West Columbia pulling Richard’s utility trailer loaded down with the fire pit, BBQ pit/smoker, and zero radius mower. We were taking a load of outdoor things to Tennessee as we knew those were the things that would not fit on the Penske trucks. We really enjoyed our visit in Tennessee but were anxious to return to Texas as we had sooo much to do to get ready for the move.
Once we returned home it was on like Donkey Kong…Packing was our focus! Thank goodness the temperatures were cooler and Mom was able to sit outside and talk with me while I worked. She even was able to pitch in and help wrap dishes and perform other tasks that were not too strenuous for her.
December 1st was finally here…Richard’s last day at work!!! I was so excited for him…He would experience a kind of freedom he had not known since before we were married. Sounds good but remember, the Penske trucks and movers would arrive on Monday. So now, Richard was working harder than ever and he was also experiencing the stress of the actual move…Loading the trucks, would it all fit, the drive, the stress of knowing Mom and I would be driving up separately. The greatest stress however was not knowing if the house would be completed by the time we arrived in Tennessee. So, without knowing for sure he scheduled the movers to unload us on December the 8th.
December 4th, mom and I set out together our brand new all wheel drive Honda Passport headed to Tennessee. We wanted to leave before Richard and Robi (who graciously flew down to drive one of the Penske trucks back for us) so we could stay ahead of them. Then if we ran into any issues they would be headed our way and not have to double back for us. We were so excited…We were headed out for the trip of a lifetime. Mom couldn’t wait to see the mountains!!! We made it to Baytown traveling on I-10 when a huge piece of sheet metal flew under the car. Yep, you guessed it…We were literally dragging metal down the road. I pulled over at a sand pit, went up to one of those huge dump trucks, and asked the driver to help me figure out what to do. He was so kind and advised me to put the car in reverse and he guided me until the metal dislodged. I thanked him and we were off again…That is until I reached 35mph and the worst grinding noise was heard coming out from under the car. Well, my God is sooo good…I looked up and at the next exit would you believe there was a Honda dealership!!! It took them about 1.5hrs to make the needed repair and then we were back on the road again. I told Mom, I had to believe it was God’s hand of protection that prevented us from being involved in a catastrophic event further down the road.
Just outside of Chattanooga TN the guys met up with us and we all caravanned the remaining stretch of the trip. We arrived the evening of the December 5th and woke to snow the morning of December 6th. It was absolutely stunning to see everything covered in white and the peace I had craved the entire year of 2023 fell over me. That’s when I knew I was home and the struggles I had endured in 2023 were so worth the reward.
December 8th we received the certificate of occupancy from the inspector that morning and the movers arrived soon after to move us up the mountain. Whew…what a day!!! Boxes and furniture were flying off the trucks faster than I could tell them where to put them. By the end of the day the beds were set up, couches in place, and we were surrounded by wall to wall boxes.
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! How do you unpack a house? One box at a time! So, for 12hrs a day 7 days straight, I unpacked, hung pictures, hung curtains, arranged furniture and move each box at least 4-5 times. Richard helped as he could but had his own list of things that had to be done such as returning the moving trucks, buying groceries, going to the post office, and running errands for me as I needed things. It was a mad rush to get things settle as our grandsons and their families were coming for Christmas on the 16th.
Christmas with our family was amazing. It definitely goes down as a Christmas I will never forget!!! Mom was in heaven! She was surrounded by little ones…She loves babies!!!
Though the house is finished on the inside the exterior work was far from done. It was really important to have a retaining wall errected to prevent a landslide and wiping us off the mountain all together. So, it has been a constant beeping of the Excavator and Bobcat backing up, vehicles moving up and down the mountain, hammering, and having a driveway that’s been inaccessible but so worth it for our safety and peace of mind.
Now, all that to explain what I meant by the comment, “I’ve been a little distracted”. This week I have finally been able to find some time to be alone and focus on the journey over the past year and process some of the emotions that have bombarded my nervous system. I have had time to read my Bible, journal, and pray. I have had time to express my gratitude to God for all He has done for me and my family. Wait…There it is!!! My word for 2024
Gratitude: When you feel thankful for the good things in your life. This could be stuff people often take for granted, like having a place to live, food, clean water, friends, and family. Gratitude is taking a moment to reflect on how lucky you are when something good happens, whether it’s small or big.
I have so much to be thankful for…I could not even begin to list them all. Every morning I open my eyes my first thoughts are those of gratitude. I have also learned if I remain in a state of gratitude it is impossible to turn my thoughts to the negativity that constantly tries to worm into my life.
Give it a try…Stay in a state of gratitude for a few minutes, then a few hours, and finally all day…Every Day!
A Love Lee Place 