Are you familiar with the phrase “Let Them”? I learned about the “Let Them” theory a little over a year ago. And the timing was perfect for where I was and what I was going through in life! As the oldest child, I grew up believing it was my responsibility to “fix” everything and everyone. The “Let Them” theory has definitely been freeing for me. This theory helped me realize circumstances are what they are and people are going to be who they are.
So…”LET THEM”
We all have our own unique journey. Each of us have the God given right to choose how we want to navigate that journey. I decided it was not my responsibility to try to fix the journey of others. In doing so would cause me to miss out on the journey God gifted me. If my focus is on controlling the narrative, I’m not focused on Living a Joyful Life.
Implementing the “Let Them” theory has made a huge impact on my personal peace and the peace of our home. Was it hard…ABSOLUTELY!!! Below is a Facebook post by my friend Luanne Salinas. Her post does a great job of identifying exactly what I thought before implementing the theory. It also explains how the “Let Them” theory gives closure.
- Do I still love the individual(s)? YES
- Do I still pray for the individual(s)? YES
But, From A Distance!
Here’s Louanne’s Post:
“Are you familiar with the “Let Them” theory? I’ll tell you friends the more I grow the more I am okay with accepting the “Let Them” in my own life and relationships.
This is something that took me a very long time to learn. I used to tolerate a lot because I didn’t want to lose people. But I learned the hard way if they were really my people they would never treat me like that. Don’t make the mistake of being so understanding and forgiving that you overlook the fact that you’re being repeatedly disrespected.
Let them be upset.
Let them judge you.
Let them misunderstand you.
Let them gossip about you,
Let them ignore you.
Let them be “right.”
Let them doubt you.
Let them not like you.
Let them not speak to you.
Let them run your name in the ground.
Let them make you out to be the villain.
Whatever it is that people want to say about you, let them!
Kindly step aside and LET THEM.
The hard truth is they know how much they are hurting you. And they just simply don’t care. They did it knowing it could cause them to lose you. And they did it anyway. People that love you care about how they make you feel. The end. Let them go.
There will be people that would rather lose you than be honest about what they’ve done to you. Let them go.
The lack of respect was the closure. The lack of apology was the closure. The lack of care was the closure. The lack of acountability was the closure. The lack of honestly was the closure. Let them go.
Make the decision to no longer sit at tables where you might be the topic when you get up. Let them go.
You can still be kind. You can even still love them deeply. But do it from the distance they created in their words and actions. Access to you is a privilege they have proven they can’t be trusted with. Let them go.
You don’t need to tell your side of the story. God already knows. Let God fight the battle for you. Let them go.
It’s taken me a long time to get here. Sleepless nights, countless tears, managing a range of emotions filled with anger, disappointment, confusion and deep hurt. Lots of self reflection, self preservation, deep prayer and seeking wisdom from those much wiser than me.
If you are struggling with this please know you are not alone. We will never understand why hurt people hurt people. But we can do the hard work to grow ourselves. Because healed people do in fact heal people.
Don’t you dare let them steal your joy.
Don’t you dare let them steal your light.
Don’t you dare let them steal your peace.
You are in control of that.
Hold tight to what you can control and release your grip on what you can’t control.
Let them go.”
Louanne, thank you for your post. I pray that by sharing it, someone will be moved to just
“Let Them”.
A Love Lee Place 